How far should I go with this Peacemaking Stuff?

Conflict Resolution

Tuesday, 17 March 2009 11:06

A fair question but what is really being asked? On the one hand it could be like Peter asking Jesus “ How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Is 7 times enough?” Jesus answered not just 7 times but 77 times.

Here is Peter thinking he is being very generous in his willingness to meet the requirements of the law but the demands of grace extend a lot more. Jesus then explained the 77 times by his story of the official who refused to forgive. The point of the story is to explain the depth of indebtedness and the corresponding forgiveness that Jesus offers us in comparison to the miserliness of our attitude to those who offend us. Read Matthew 18:23-35 to get the full picture.

On the other hand the person could really be saying this is all too hard because you do not know what a difficult person I am dealing with and what I have to put up with. Paul wrote in Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Other scriptures talk about “making every effort” or “strive zealously”. Peacemaking is not a passive process and takes effort on your part.

Many times failure in peacemaking is because we have failed to seriously examine our own heart and to remove the log from our own eye. However even if we do that we can sometimes get discouraged because our efforts have not brought about reconciliation. Sometimes people have a legalistic approach to the scriptures. They may say “ Well I have been to my brother and he did not listen “ It may well be in going you did not go in the right attitude, you may have chosen an inappropriate time or place. Going privately to a brother or sister may require us going several times if we are to strive earnestly to be at peace.

However, at the end of the day peacemaking is not about success or failure. Your job is to speak the truth in love and it is God’s job to change people. You cannot force people to obey God and do what is right.

Once you have done everything do not beat yourself up and spend time worrying or wasting time about someone who stubbornly refuses to be reconciled. Instead continue to pray for that person and to love them. You need God’s grace to follow his command in Romans 12:21 “ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” As you do this God will bless your obedience.